Author: ashleyadmin

I’m Okray, You’re OK

ANN ARBOR– District Court 14a ruled against winger Matt Okray in what has been dubbed DeflateGate III, following disparaging remarks regarding the amply sized Ice Dog James “Not Thurgood” Marshall in Hopslam’s 3-3 tie Saturday night. Okray was given an…

Ruination Embattled Over DeflateGate II

ANN ARBOR– Critics of the Ruination team have alleged that members of the team had deflated goaltender Rusty Barron following several tough games, including a 2-5 loss to Black Ops Saturday night. When asked to comment on DeflateGate II, Barron’s…

Nothing Funny Ever Happens

ANN ARBOR–Aventinus beat Goaldiggers 2-1 Sunday night, bringing the team above .500 for the first time since January 4. Timely goals from Tom Colis and Jon Hwang in the second and third period helped extend Aventinus’s win streak to four.…

Okray More than Okay

ANN ARBOR– Despite a deep thigh bruise suffered early last week, goaltender Matt Okray shook off what he called “boredom” to blank St. Anky Beer, as Hopslam earned a 5-0 win Saturday night. “Matt’s our goalie, and that Okray by…

Ricky Tricky DJ Biz

ANN ARBOR– Look out, Nectarine! There’s a new dance party in town, thanks to DJ Tricky Ricky Winowiecki and his 80’s inspired set list. “Brilliant! Inspired!” said fans following the party. Using a new business model known as the “Flash”…

Depot Town Brought Down Despite Plea

ANN ARBOR–The Depot Town Stags suffered a 1-4 loss to Ashley’s Ruination Saturday, thanks to newcomer Bruce Conner’s game-winner, despite specifically asking Conner not to bring the team down. After repeated accusations of staying out late with his so-called “fancy” friends,…

New Skaters Hoping Checks Bounce

ANN ARBOR– Tom Colis scored the lone goal for Aventinus as they were routed by the Ice-o-topes D2 team 1-5 Wednesday night. The third straight loss had newcomers Jon Hwang, Robert Texeira, and Kenny Schmidt wondering if joining the team…