ANN ARBOR– “So, how many C-League players did you have on your roster tonight?” asked a Sasquatch player following Hopslam’s 6-2 win over Sasquatch in Tuesday night’s quarterfinal play. And with those words, GM Mark Woods’s covert plan to dominate…
Author: ashleyadmin
Millennial Writes Aventinus Article
ANN ARBOR– So, okay, so here’s the thing. Okay, so like it was SUCH A GOOD GAME! But, it totally sucked at the same time! So, okay, so they (Aventinus) were all getting dressed and there was like glitter everywhere because…
No Bowl Game for Hopslam
HOPSLAM– Wednesday night’s 2-3 loss to Sasquatch dropped the team to 13-6-3 for the season, and ensured that they, like the Michigan Wolverines, will not be going to a bowl game come January 1. “This loss really hurts,” said GM…
Roklen Rolls Out
RUINATION– Management announced Tuesday following Ruination’s 6-1 win over the Black Bears that forward Jon Roklen was traded to the Boston Bruins (short for Bruination, or affectionately the Brewin’ Nation for their love of craft beers). “This is my last…
Coleman Sports New Jordache Hockey Pants
ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Daryl Coleman had a little trouble putting on his new form-fitting hockey pants in Sunday night’s 1-8 loss to the Ice-o-topes 2. Explaining that they were an early Christmas gift, he noted that they were a snug…
Goalie Apocalypse Gorham’s Gain
ANN ARBOR– Triumph over tragedy occurred Tuesday night after it was discovered that an “apocalyptic dearth” of goalies led to Steve Gorham’s unlikely rise to super beer league stardom, as Ashley’s Hopslam defeated the Ice-o-topes 2-1 in hard fought game.…
What in Blazers?
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination pulled off the improbable– winning not only against a B-League A2 Blazers 6-4 Monday night, but winning with only six skaters. Brian Lefevre had three goals, while Dexter Benda added two and an assist. Jordan Swift…