Author: ashleyadmin

Donde est Rico…?

PLAYA DEL CARMEN– Success and fame are fickle friends, and no one understands this more than one-time D1 goalie Rico Winowiecko, aka Rico Savo. Following his 5-4 win in Game 1 of the D1 championship series for the Winter 2017…

Legend of Bernie Vance Grows

ANN ARBOR– Mercurial hockey legend Bernard “Bernie” Vance was said to have appeared in the Winter 2017 playoffs, but was noticeably absent in the championship celebration following Hopslam’s 3-2 victory Monday night. “I didn’t even see him leave,” said defenseman…

Hopslam Wins In Accordance with Prophecy

ANN ARBOR– According to the ancient text known in academic circles as the Riley Codex, Hopslam was guaranteed a championship for the Winter 2017 season. In fact, the Ashley’s team defeated the Ice Men 3-2 in Game 2 of the…

El Neto Signed for Hopslam

CANCUN– VP of Operations Chris Sutton announced Thursday from his hotel in Cancun that Mexico’s winningest goaltender and national treasure Rico “El Neto” Winowiecko has been signed in time for Hopslam’s championship series opener Saturday night against the Ice Men.…

Participation Trophy Anticipated

RUINATION– Ruination fell to Black Ops 8-9 Saturday evening, stretching their championship slump to five seasons. “I only have myself to blame,” said GM Mark Woods. “Mostly because hardly anyone ever showed up this season.” Explained Woods: “Apparently, things like spending…

Wild Bill McDermott Avenged

BANGTOWN– Following a 5-3 shootout at the Ice Cube Corral Saturday night with the Liebherr gang, friends and kin of William “Wild Bill” McDermott claimed to have “avenged” the loss of their comrade in arms. Known informally as the Sutton…

Price, Performance Right for Winowiecki

HOLLYWOOD– Goaltender Ricky Winowiecki celebrated his 11-1 win over the Black Bears Saturday night and Ruination’s 8-0 topping of Black Ops and its 17-6-1 regular season record by visiting California, part of the Ashley’s Goodwill Tour, appearing on The Price…