ANN ARBOR– Corporations often entice potential hires with some form of “matching funds” 401(k) retirement plan. In an effort to remain contemporary, the D2 League has opted to begin a “matching pucks” option, as evidenced by the recent spat of…
Author: ashleyadmin
Hoppy Bird– Difficulty Getting Past Pipes
ANN ARBOR– One of the many complaints made to developer Dong Nguyen in his latest game ‘Hoppy Bird’ includes the extreme difficulty getting the bird past the pipes. “We only managed to do it three times the other day,” noted…
Ruination Held Scoreless in Forfeit Win
ANN ARBOR– The thrill of victory was tempered Saturday night when the Cleveland Steamers held Ashley’s Ruination scoreless by forfeiting the game, keeping the high-powered offense off of the ice for three full periods. “It’s a brilliant defensive strategy,” said…
Hattie Skips Goalie Convention to Play, Tie
ANN ARBOR– Goaltender Luke Hattie became only one of two goalies in the entire Southeastern region of the stat of Michigan to skip the Super Secret Goalie Convention (SSGC) to play for Ashley’s Aventinus Wednesday night, guiding the team to a…
Battlestar Ruinatica Edges Closer Home
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination remains unbeaten after a daring move made by player-coach Anthony Ciatti, pulling the goalie in the final seconds to give the team the extra attacker and a 3-3 tie with the Depot Town Stags early Wednesday.…
Puckola Scandal Revealed!
ANN ARBOR– Center Scott Coates was recently seen handing an undisclosed sum of money to “someone at the top” of the league’s administrative staff in what is suspected to be a bribery scheme, or “puckola” scandal that has fans questioning…
Socialist ‘Bowler’ Cell Found in Hockey
ANN ARBOR– Whispers speaking of Leftist revolution have floated around for decades in one form or another, but rumors turned to allegations Saturday after evidence linking Thompson’s Pizza forward Bob Weymouth to a subversive socialist “bowler” group dedicated to “strikes”…