Category: General

ANN ARBOR– Following President Biden’s speech excoriating the 80 million unvaccinated in the United States, Hopslam and Ruination did little to alleviate the situation when it was discovered that Hopslam failed to administer “enough shots” in their 2-6 loss to…

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ANN ARBOR– Following Hopslam’s 8-1 win over the Ypsi Aces late Tuesday night, forward Nic Schultz cryptically called for what seemed to be an end to economic prosperity and relative worldwide peace. “Bring on Ruination!” he exclaimed. Hopslam press secretary…

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ANN ARBOR– Winger Kyle Jennings wondered if Ruination’s opener with Bull Schlitz Tuesday night would be cancelled after reports of a tornado was spotted. “Are the games still on?” he asked. Although heavy rains ripped through Southeastern Michigan early Tuesday…

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ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination boasted an audience “comparable to the NHL” Tuesday night in their 15-2 win over Kraken Beers, noted GM Mark Woods. “It’s great to know that through hard work and dedication, we’ve built this team and this…

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ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination pulled out all of the stops Monday, clinching the C-League Spring title with a 4-0 win over the WT Killer Bees on their way to their twelfth championship. “I’m really proud of our guys,” said GM…

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ANN ARBOR– Following an on-ice incident of “indecency of a prurient nature” displayed by an unnamed member of the Ypsi Aces, former Vice-president and 2020 Democratic hopeful Joe Biden announced that Hopslam’s Heather Mannix will receive a “Medal of Honor…

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ANN ARBOR– In the wake of their 1-1 tie Tuesday night with the Yaks, Hopslam found themselves in the midst of a heated debate over a number of items, including which ref was worse, which Yak player was said “no…

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