Category: General

General news pertaining to the players, teams, the league, or even hockey in general

Hopslam, Ruination Need More Shots

ANN ARBOR– Following President Biden’s speech excoriating the 80 million unvaccinated in the United States, Hopslam and Ruination did little to alleviate the situation when it was discovered that Hopslam failed to administer “enough shots” in their 2-6 loss to…

Schultz: Bring on Ruination!

ANN ARBOR– Following Hopslam’s 8-1 win over the Ypsi Aces late Tuesday night, forward Nic Schultz cryptically called for what seemed to be an end to economic prosperity and relative worldwide peace. “Bring on Ruination!” he exclaimed. Hopslam press secretary…

Jennings Mistakes Toronado for Tornado

ANN ARBOR– Winger Kyle Jennings wondered if Ruination’s opener with Bull Schlitz Tuesday night would be cancelled after reports of a tornado was spotted. “Are the games still on?” he asked. Although heavy rains ripped through Southeastern Michigan early Tuesday…

Ruination Boasts NHL Size Crowds

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination boasted an audience “comparable to the NHL” Tuesday night in their 15-2 win over Kraken Beers, noted GM Mark Woods. “It’s great to know that through hard work and dedication, we’ve built this team and this…