AVENTINUS– The 0-2 loss to the Ice-o-topes D2 left a bitter taste in the mouth of defenseman Mark Woods until he discovered that the origin of that taste was actually that of Brussel sprouts. He was also surprised to discover…
Category: Ruination
Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team
Loss the Result of a No Brainer
RUINATION– Ashley’s Ruination suffered its first loss of the season, falling 2-3 to the Black Bears Saturday night. Dexter Benda scored both goals for Ruination, but it proved to be not quite enough, as the Black Bears scored with just 0:10…
Writer Hopes No One Looks Up Stuff on Urban Dictionary.com
RUINATION– Ashley’s Ruination pushed its record to 10-0-1 Tuesday with a 6-2 win over Thompson’s Pizza. Ricky Winowiecki, Tim Bredernitz, and Jordan Swift each had two goals for the game: impress the ladies, and never let them see you sweat.…
Ashley’s Weak-end Report
HOPSLAM– In the 1-2 loss Saturday to St. Anky Beer, Hopslam forward Bob Brock told reporters that he tweaked his groin, prompting GM Mark Woods to say, “Hey, this is a family place. Do that in the privacy of your bathroom.”…
Highs and Lopez as Teams Make Bold Moves
RUINATION– Following their thrilling 5-5 tie with Yaks B of the B2 League Monday night, GM Mark Woods announced that forward Shawn Lopez will be named the franchise player for the new Ashley’s Bud Light Lime team. “After scoring two…
Payeur’s Secret Life as Hipster Revealed!
ANN ARBOR– Despite vehement denials to being a “coffee-house hipster,” defenseman Sean Payeur was spotted at the very trendy Babo Market on Washington Street in downtown Ann Arbor following Ruination’s 9-1 win over Black Ops Tuesday night. Despite his gruff exterior,…
Ashley’s Hockey Writer Clearly Getting Lazier
HOPSLAM– Hopslam defeated the first place Ice Men 5-2 Saturday night, thanks in large part to the off-speed shot from Mark Woods mid-way through the first period. “I really knocked the crap out of that one,” said Woods. The shot…