HOLLYWOOD– In a story line that parallels the Rocky franchise, Ashley’s Ruination fell to a younger, hungrier Clubber Lang-like team in Goon Squad. “I pity the fool that think he can beat me,” said Goon Sqaud forward Adam Skiff, adorned in…
Category: Ruination
Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team
U.S. Patent Office May Force Ruination Name Change
WASHINGTON– In a move paralleling its announcement regarding the Washington Redskins NFL franchise, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has threatened Ashley’s Ruination, claiming that the team is “disparaging to women named Ashley” following its 4-3 win over Mott. “Somewhere…
Even Steven Ashley’s Weekend
HOPSLAM– An 8-2 win over Sasquatch Saturday night left Hopslam feeling confident that it could supplant an obscure Canadian super hero team known as Alpha Flight. “Who?” said pretty much everybody except for die-hard comic book fans in the 1980s, particularly…
Black Ops Blanked, Ricky Befuddled
ANN ARBOR– Forward Ricky Winowiecki looked more like a theoretical physics professor contemplating the nature of the universe following Ruination’s 5-0 win over a stunned Black Ops team early Wednesday. “I’m looking at this team (Ruination),” said Ricky, “and I…
Weekend at Ashley’s
RUINATION– Contemporary pop band Five For Fighting (including lead singer Matt Schaefer, David Branch on guitar, John Vella on drums, Al Johnson on bass, and Dave Winn on bongos) faced down Thompson’s Pizza, falling 0-9 Saturday, leaving the group to…
Phantom Assists Spark Controversy
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination absolutely dominated Mott Tuesday night in an 11-5 win, but not without controversy. “Can I see the scoresheet?” asked Mott’s Anthony Schirripa. What he saw put a derisive smile on his face. Initially thought to be…
Ashley’s Weekend Round-Up
HOPSLAM– Bob Brock scored his first goal of the season in a 6-0 win over St. Anky Beer Saturday night, noting that goaltender Brittany Zeches was stellar in her shoutout of the team, and that he is currently paying about…