REDFORD– Ashley’s Ruination fought off a much-improved Trend Millwork team Saturday night to win 5-3, despite the fact that brake pads shouldn’t take over two hours to replace. “Feel free to walk around our show room,” said Carl, the service…
Category: Ruination
Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team
Late Games, Everything, Linked to Cancer
ANN ARBOR– Concern filled the locker room early Wednesday morning following Ruination’s 6-5 comeback win over the Cleveland Steamers when researchers revealed a link to (among other items) late-night games and cancer. The report– revealed Tuesday morning– prompted several members…
Hybrid Team Proves Goal-Efficient
ANN ARBOR– Proving that eco-friendly solutions really can make a difference, the hybrid model Ruination (known as the Hopslam-ination) managed a 6-3 win over Depot Town Stags Saturday night. John Vella had three goals and an assist, while Andrew Thompson…
Bizarro Ruination Manages Tie
BIZARRO ANN ARBOR– The Bizarro Ruination team felt a mixture of satisfaction and disappointment after their 3-3 tie with Thompson’s Pizza Tuesday night. “Me proud of team,” said Bizzaro Superman. “Snatch tie from jaws of victory.” The Bizarro World– a…
Stamos: “I Hate Ruination”
ANN ARBOR– Celebrity referee John Stamos expressed his “absolute disdain” for Ashley’s Ruination Saturday following the team’s 1-5 loss to rival Black Bears. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s yogurt,” said Stamos. “And Ashley’s Ruination.” Throughout the game,…
Future Jordan Swift to Self: “Score the Hat Trick!”
ANN ARBOR– Thanks to recent developments in the philosophy of time and space-time, specifically work done with “worm-holes,” Future Jordan Swift had an opportunity to come to the “present” and warn himself not to pass on the opportunity to score…
Payeur Hands Out Dating Advice
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination followed their 7-2 win over Trend Millwork Tuesday night with relationship and dating advice from defenseman and noted “love guru” Sean Payeur. “We all enjoy listening to Sean’s show,” said defenseman Mark Woods. “It’s like listening…