ANN ARBOR–Who would have thought that a philosopher who brought Western Civilization the idea of the superman– or ubermensch— could also be Superman in goalie pads, bringing a 5-3 win for Ashley’s Ruination Tuesday night? “How Nietzsche could write something as bold…
Category: Ruination
Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team
Defenseman Sets Back US-Canadian Relations Several Weeks
ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Mark Woods inadvertently set back US-Canadian relations by several weeks with an errant comment following a check that sent him to the ice, hitting his head in Ruination’s 6-1 win over Depot Town Stags Tuesday night. “All…
AshleysGate Exposed!
ANN ARBOR– In a shocking development early Monday, reports claim the Ashley’s Ruination-Hopslam rivalry game was in fact a staged marketing ploy from none other than the Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company and the Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. Emails thought…
Ricky Rejoins Boy Band
ANN ARBOR– Following Ruination’s 2-2 tie with the Depot Town Stags, pop artist Ricky Winowiecki announced his triumphant return to the boy band sensation One Direliction. “Oy! We’re super excited to ‘ave the ‘ol boy back i’ the band,” said…
Ruination Embattled Over DeflateGate II
ANN ARBOR– Critics of the Ruination team have alleged that members of the team had deflated goaltender Rusty Barron following several tough games, including a 2-5 loss to Black Ops Saturday night. When asked to comment on DeflateGate II, Barron’s…
Ricky Tricky DJ Biz
ANN ARBOR– Look out, Nectarine! There’s a new dance party in town, thanks to DJ Tricky Ricky Winowiecki and his 80’s inspired set list. “Brilliant! Inspired!” said fans following the party. Using a new business model known as the “Flash”…
Depot Town Brought Down Despite Plea
ANN ARBOR–The Depot Town Stags suffered a 1-4 loss to Ashley’s Ruination Saturday, thanks to newcomer Bruce Conner’s game-winner, despite specifically asking Conner not to bring the team down. After repeated accusations of staying out late with his so-called “fancy” friends,…