ANN ARBOR–Following a four-month hiatus that featured a soul-searching trip to Peru where he ingested ayahuasca under the supervision of Peruvian shamans, Rusty Barron returned to action, pitching a shutout as Ashley’s Ruination won 7-0 Tuesday night against Black Ops.…
Category: Ruination
Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team
Long Off Season Shows
ANN ARBOR– Tuesday night’s 1-5 Ruination loss to the Ice-o-topes C team revealed the darker side of the group, as defenseman Chris Sutton questioned the skill level of fellow defenseman Mark Woods. “Why did you try to handle my cup (jock)?”…
Aja: Only Time Will Tell
ANN ARBOR– Players and coaches were mystified Monday night upon hearing that Nick Aja received a delay of game penalty, constituting his fourth foul of the game, resulting in an ejection and potential one-game suspension following Ruination’s 5-6 loss to…
Schlissel to Destroy Ruination
ANN ARBOR– Disaster will soon strike when University of Michigan president Mark Schlissel will make good on his vow to destroy Ashley’s Ruination when he confers degrees on several players, including perennial all-stars Dexter Benda and Jordan Swift. “We all…
Writer Speaks of Daring Escape, Ruination Massacred
ANN ARBOR– Sports writer Mark Woods spoke recently of his daring escape only days ago from a dystopian city turned prison in time to report Ruination’s 2-12 defeat Monday night. “It was an incredible experience, though it pained my one…
Bears Slowly Lulled into B-League
ANN ARBOR– The Black Bears topped Ashley’s Ruination 3-1 Monday night, pushing their B-League record to 4-1 in what appears to be a carefully laid trap set by league director Abe Colwell. “Yes, yes, it’s all coming together nicely,” he…
“Lottery Win Sure Would Help”
REDFORD– Desperate to keep the dozens of fans infotained,sports writer Mark Woods admitted Friday that winning the lottery “sure would help” to give him the free time needed to write articles for the sports teams in the local area, including…