RUINATION– Every team in the C-league with the exception of the Black Bears cheered Tuesday night after Ruination notched a 3-0 win over Trend Millwork, essentially guaranteeing a move to the B-League for the Winter 2015 season. Noting that this…
Category: Hopslam
Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team
Moustaches Twirled All Weekend
RUINATION– Calling the performance “uninspired,” Austin Feeney finished with a goal and assist while fellow teammate Tim Bredernitz dropped in three goals and an assist as Ashley’s Ruination beat the Depot Town Stags 6-1 Saturday night. Despite the win, Sean…
Hole-y Goalies!
HOPSLAM– Scott Coates scored four goals in the 9-7 win against Sasquatch Tuesday night, earning praise and commentary from fellow teammates. “He’s slow, he can’t or won’t stop or skate backwards, and he has nothing but complaints about everything from…
Diving and Dollars Weekend Extravaganza
HOPSLAM– Defenseman Steve Gorham had the audacity to fall after receiving a rough shove from Ice Dog James Marshall late in the third period of Hopslam’s 4-4 tie Saturday. He received an unsportsmanlike conduct for diving, and sentenced to three…
Statistical Accuracy, Caring Not High On Priority List
HOPSLAM–Ashley’s Hopslam scored like a million billion goals Saturday night, totally beating up the Ice-o-topes, as reported by MillennialStat, the new start-up company responsible for providing statistical analysis for the Ann Arbor Ice Cube leagues. The company’s policy trends toward hiring…
Writer Hopes No One Looks Up Stuff on Urban Dictionary.com
RUINATION– Ashley’s Ruination pushed its record to 10-0-1 Tuesday with a 6-2 win over Thompson’s Pizza. Ricky Winowiecki, Tim Bredernitz, and Jordan Swift each had two goals for the game: impress the ladies, and never let them see you sweat.…
Ashley’s Weak-end Report
HOPSLAM– In the 1-2 loss Saturday to St. Anky Beer, Hopslam forward Bob Brock told reporters that he tweaked his groin, prompting GM Mark Woods to say, “Hey, this is a family place. Do that in the privacy of your bathroom.”…