RUINATION– Ashley’s Ruination pushed its record to 10-0-1 Tuesday with a 6-2 win over Thompson’s Pizza. Ricky Winowiecki, Tim Bredernitz, and Jordan Swift each had two goals for the game: impress the ladies, and never let them see you sweat.…
Category: Aventinus
Updates specific to Ashley’s Aventinus team
Ashley’s Weak-end Report
HOPSLAM– In the 1-2 loss Saturday to St. Anky Beer, Hopslam forward Bob Brock told reporters that he tweaked his groin, prompting GM Mark Woods to say, “Hey, this is a family place. Do that in the privacy of your bathroom.”…
Ms. Communication Key to Good Play
ANN ARBOR– Coach Mary Communication noted that understanding concepts was “key” to Aventinus’ 6-1 win over Mott FK Wednesday night. “It won’t do any good to have mis-communication from Ms. Communication,” said the coach, probably for the ten-thousandth time judging…
Deer Hunter Saved By Hockey
SCIO TOWNSHIP– Call it another Sunday of deer hunting with a Hyundai (known as bow and light weapons season), but the events of Sunday night turned dangerous for avid sportsman Dave Ferguson just prior to Aventinus’s 2-1 win over the…
Players Misunderstand Comment
ANN ARBOR– Following the 1-2 loss Wednesday night, several Aventinus players reportedly misunderstood comments made by defenseman Mark Woods when he noticed his skate chassis had broken. “My chassis broke,” he noted, looking at the shattered plastic piece that holds…
Ashley’s Hockey Writer Clearly Getting Lazier
HOPSLAM– Hopslam defeated the first place Ice Men 5-2 Saturday night, thanks in large part to the off-speed shot from Mark Woods mid-way through the first period. “I really knocked the crap out of that one,” said Woods. The shot…
This Week at the Cube
HOPSLAM– Police officer, gentleman, and Hopslam goaltender Ryan Bidwell reportedly stepped down as chief of security for the Ann Arbor Ice Cube when it was revealed that director Abe Colwell had shared the elevator with a man who is known to…