ANN ARBOR–Amid the disappointment of losing to the Ice-o-topes 2-3 Saturday night, Hopslam managed to take some solace in the fact Bugs Bunny’s famous “slow ball” pitch. “He’s a bit wascally, so it’s no wonder,” said GM Mark Woods following…
Month: September 2013
Ron Coleman: “That’s One Cocky Mofo!”
ANN ARBOR–Defenseman Ron Coleman’s attitude reportedly went from cocky to “downright arrogant” in Aventinus’s 4-1 win over North Coast Wednesday night, drawing concern from opposing players, teammates, refs, and even fans across the country. “I mentioned that a defenseman needs…
Magic Cup Only Good for Tie
ANN ARBOR–How does the saying go– his cup overfloweth? Presumably with goals and victories? In the curious case of Ricky Winowiecki, one can only conclude that the the cup merely floweth, good for three goals, a win, and a tie.…
Ricky’s Chase for the Cup
ANN ARBOR–Ruination forward Ricky Winowiecki procured a makeshift cup from hockey tape and what sources cannot quite confirm as a plastic Tupperware brand storage lid en route to a three-goal night as Ruination defeated the Blackbears 6-3 Tuesday to improve…
Flying Swarm of Birds Reminiscent of Hockey Team
AUBURN HILLS–Flying birds outside of office headquarters for the Ashley’s Hockey franchise oddly reminded GM Mark Woods of his own experiences, particularly on the ice. “They just sort of fly around in a gigantic cloud,” said Woods in a bemused…
Statisticians Concerned Over Ruination
ANN ARBOR–Statisticians for the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research (ISR) expressed concern over several jarring statistical results during Ruination’s Saturday match-up with Mott. “These are the kinds of numbers that can be alarming, and can lead to losses,”…
Price Is Right, Frees Hostage Skates
LIVONIA–After 444 tense minutes, Ashley’s Hopslam was able to successfully negotiate the release of skates belonging to Michael Leighton and Bob Brock, just hours before their scheduled game with the Ice Men Saturday night. “Thanks to Jeff (Price), we were…