ANN ARBOR– Triumph over tragedy occurred Tuesday night after it was discovered that an “apocalyptic dearth” of goalies led to Steve Gorham’s unlikely rise to super beer league stardom, as Ashley’s Hopslam defeated the Ice-o-topes 2-1 in hard fought game.…
Month: November 2014
What in Blazers?
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination pulled off the improbable– winning not only against a B-League A2 Blazers 6-4 Monday night, but winning with only six skaters. Brian Lefevre had three goals, while Dexter Benda added two and an assist. Jordan Swift…
Girl Season Opens, Aventinus Wins
ANN ARBOR– The debate over which hunting season officially began this Fall was quickly resolved Sunday night following Aventinus’s 4-2 win over the Goaldiggers: Girl season. According to sources, girl season opened sometime in mid-October. “This explains why (winger) Nate Greenman…
Payeur Gets “White Girl Wasted”
ANN ARBOR– Warning teammates that he may miss the game, defenseman Sean Payeur made good on his promise to get “white girl wasted” Saturday night, missing out on a 11-0 Ruination win over Mott. “It’s seeming like it could be…
Hopslam: “I Never Taped Bill Cosby”
ANN ARBOR– The controversy over legendary comedian Bill Cosby continued as several Hopslam players were forced to defend themselves against allegations of engaging in illegal copyright infringements– transferring Cosby’s vinyl record albums to cassette, or “taping,” following their 3-3 tie with the…
Fake Laughter, Real Tears
RUINATION– Every team in the C-league with the exception of the Black Bears cheered Tuesday night after Ruination notched a 3-0 win over Trend Millwork, essentially guaranteeing a move to the B-League for the Winter 2015 season. Noting that this…
Moustaches Twirled All Weekend
RUINATION– Calling the performance “uninspired,” Austin Feeney finished with a goal and assist while fellow teammate Tim Bredernitz dropped in three goals and an assist as Ashley’s Ruination beat the Depot Town Stags 6-1 Saturday night. Despite the win, Sean…