ANN ARBOR– Concerning any doubt that Ruination defeated the Yotes C 6-3 Tuesday evening, according to the fact check organization Catfish Phillips Fact Check Organization & Stuff. “Totes McGotes! They really won,” said CEO Catherine Fisch-Phillips. “I thought Totes McGotes…
Updated Matrix Movie To Feature Keanu Reeves saying “Whoa” when he sees Ruination’s Game 2 Results v Yaks C
HOLLYWOOD– Directors of the The Matrix Lana and Lilly Wachowski (formerly known as Larry and Andy Wachowski) announced late Tuesday the they were remastering/reshooting the film, notably the “Deja Vu” scene in which Neo sees a cat perform the same…
Yaks Add Scottie Scheffler to A2 C League Golf Scramble Coming in May
AUGUSTA– Following his win at the Master’s Sunday in Augusta, golfer Scottie Scheffler has accepted an invitation from the Yaks to play in their 4-man Spring Scramble starting in early May. “I feel like I can contribute to the team,”…
Hopslam: “That Game was Bull Schlitz!” Okray Uses New Math
ANN ARBOR– Hopslam fell to what sources are calling “some” Bull Schlitz in their 2-7 loss Tuesday night. However, news wires were having trouble picking up the actual score when field correspondent Matt Okray provided a cryptic assessment of the…
President Sleeps Through Ruination Tie
ANN ARBOR– Amidst a grueling travel schedule, President Joe Biden was caught dozing during Ruination’s 3-3 tie Tuesday evening with Bull Schlitz. “C’mon, man,” entreated the president. “I was at the COP26 just the other day, they have me coming…
Pocket-Sized Ricky Real Hit with the Ladies
ANN ARBOR– It’s well-documented that people tend to shrink a bit with age, but few (besides Lily Tomlin) have achieved what seems the impossible: shrinking down to mere inches. Philanthropist and defensive player Ricky Winowiecki has achieved just that. “I’m…