Corporate Sponsors Take Over League

ANN ARBOR– The Ann Arbor Hockey League may have been the last bastion of unsullied hockey, free of corporate sponsorship and the inevitable branding and shameless product placement… at least it was. “Folks, I’m pleased as Tropicana Fruit Punch to…

Goalie Gets Great Night’s Rest

BELLEVUE– Goaltender Jeff Phillion reportedly got “eight solid [hours]” of sleep Thursday night, interrupted only by a text from teammate Matt Okray at 945pm asking if he was playing in Hopslam’s 7-1 win over Gates at Yost Ice Arena. “What…

Travel Ban Lifted for Defensemen

ANN ARBOR– Following the five-judge panel decision to lift the travel ban for defenseman in the offensive zone, Aventinus player Al Juback took full advantage Wednesday in the team’s 2-6 loss to Yeti. “He was quite the traveling wilbury,” said…

Riley Making Good on Guarantee

ANN ARBOR– Hopslam continued its winning streak Tuesday in its 5-2 win over the Yaks,¬†adding legitmacy to defenseman Alex Riley’s surprising guarantee of a championship this season. “I am personally guaranteeing a championship this season,” Riley boldly stated upon returning…