ANN ARBOR– Captain Matt Okray, Tom Servias, and Mike Leighton had reportedly enjoyed a refreshing tourna-mint over the weekend in lieu of Hopslam’s regular season gum with the Cleveland Steamers Saturday. “They just leave a bad taste in my mouth,”…
Loss Leads to Debate Over Cereal, Vitamins
ANN ARBOR– A 4-5 loss Tuesday to the Ice Men led Hopslam players to discuss late into the evening what exactly was advertised in cereal ads, specifically the “essential vitamins and minerals.” The disagreement began when forward Nic Schultz noted…
Ruination: Brian Can Handle It
ANN ARBOR– In an incredible show of confidence, GM Mark Woods announced that forward Brian Lefevre, currently listed as the only player planning to skate in Saturday’s upcoming game against the Yaks, has “totally got this.” Said Woods: “He’s fast.…
Johnson Grills Brats
ANN ARBOR– Defenseman Brad Johnson announced his early retirement from hockey amid the disappointment following Hopslam’s 2-3 loss Saturday night to Yaks D1 and their second straight loss, something that has not happened since the Winter 2021 season. “I’m going…
Ruination Does Just Fine
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination did just fine without defensemen Mark Woods (or any defensemen) Saturday in its 9-2 victory over the Side Biscuit Spicy Boys Saturday. “It just shows a good defense is a good offense,” said forward-turned-defenseman Andrew Thompson.…
Hopslam, Ruination Need More Shots
ANN ARBOR– Following President Biden’s speech excoriating the 80 million unvaccinated in the United States, Hopslam and Ruination did little to alleviate the situation when it was discovered that Hopslam failed to administer “enough shots” in their 2-6 loss to…