GRAMPS OLD FARM–Matt “Gramps” Okray spun a tale lovingly referred to by older family members as “The Legend of Sasquatch” to wide-eyed grandchildren late in the evening Thursday. “Up against an unbeatable monster. Sasquatch,” started off Okray, pausing for dramatic…
Health Officials Mandate Vacillation, ‘Maybe, I Dunno’
ANN ARBOR– Following Hopslam’s 4-5 loss to Tuesday night, The Ann Arbor Health Organization (AAHO) announced that all players must vacillate by November 1… or November 2. Sources say officials have been “going back and forth on the date.” “But,…
John’s One ‘Vella-va’ Coach
ANN ARBOR– Top brass around the league are buzzing over the job interim head coach John Vella, Jr. did Saturday night , as Ruination beat the Yaks C team 4-2 with only six players. “4-2 win with 6 skaters plus…
Okray, Others Enjoy Refreshing Tourna-mint
ANN ARBOR– Captain Matt Okray, Tom Servias, and Mike Leighton had reportedly enjoyed a refreshing tourna-mint over the weekend in lieu of Hopslam’s regular season gum with the Cleveland Steamers Saturday. “They just leave a bad taste in my mouth,”…
Loss Leads to Debate Over Cereal, Vitamins
ANN ARBOR– A 4-5 loss Tuesday to the Ice Men led Hopslam players to discuss late into the evening what exactly was advertised in cereal ads, specifically the “essential vitamins and minerals.” The disagreement began when forward Nic Schultz noted…
Ruination: Brian Can Handle It
ANN ARBOR– In an incredible show of confidence, GM Mark Woods announced that forward Brian Lefevre, currently listed as the only player planning to skate in Saturday’s upcoming game against the Yaks, has “totally got this.” Said Woods: “He’s fast.…