Donde est Rico…?

PLAYA DEL CARMEN– Success and fame are fickle friends, and no one understands this more than one-time D1 goalie Rico Winowiecko, aka Rico Savo. Following his 5-4 win in Game 1 of the D1 championship series for the Winter 2017…

Legend of Bernie Vance Grows

ANN ARBOR– Mercurial hockey legend Bernard “Bernie” Vance was said to have appeared in the Winter 2017 playoffs, but was noticeably absent in the championship celebration following Hopslam’s 3-2 victory Monday night. “I didn’t even see him leave,” said defenseman…

El Neto Signed for Hopslam

CANCUN– VP of Operations Chris Sutton announced Thursday from his hotel in Cancun that Mexico’s winningest goaltender and national treasure Rico “El Neto” Winowiecko has been signed in time for Hopslam’s championship series opener Saturday night against the Ice Men.…

Participation Trophy Anticipated

RUINATION– Ruination fell to Black Ops 8-9 Saturday evening, stretching their championship slump to five seasons. “I only have myself to blame,” said GM Mark Woods. “Mostly because hardly anyone ever showed up this season.” Explained Woods: “Apparently, things like spending…

Wild Bill McDermott Avenged

BANGTOWN– Following a 5-3 shootout at the Ice Cube Corral Saturday night with the Liebherr gang, friends and kin of William “Wild Bill” McDermott claimed to have “avenged” the loss of their comrade in arms. Known informally as the Sutton…