PYONGYANG–“Hard work from honest hands makes our country great, our spirit full,” official reports from Pyong Yang’s propaganda mill stated following Ruination’s 4-8 loss to the Ypsi Aces in Monday’s semi-final match-up. “We have proven our valor and superior fighting…
Month: August 2013
Shaun of the Red
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination fought off a zombie-like performance from the Black Bears to win 8-3 Thursday night and advance to the semi-finals of the Summer 2013 season. Matt Schaefer poured in four goals while Sean Payeur added a goal and…
Beat Writer Loopy Following Loss to Leafs
ANN ARBOR–This isn’t how the story goes; the nice guy gets the girl, wins the day… right? The story, however, felt more like a Greek tragedy as Aventinus came from behind twice to take the lead, only to ultimately fall…
Feezel Heads to Busch Leagues
ANN ARBOR–In the waning moments of Hopslam’s improbable 5-6 collapse Wednesday evening to rival Yaks, the finality of it all sunk in for forward Even Feezel, who found himself overcome with emotion. “Aaaaugh!” he cried, emotionally distraught. “It hurts!” Indeed,…
Ruination: Crazy Hot Six
ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination was six-crazed Monday night after leaving the Cleveland Steamers in a pile 6-4, running their record to 6-6. In fact, this marks the second straight game where the team had six. “Well, it’s true what they say,”…
Page Three Ashley’s Girl: She’s George-ous
ANN ARBOR–Following the recommendation of board director Sean Payeur, Ashley’s Sporting News (ASN) opted to feature a “Page Three” glamour model, similarly to famed British tabloid The Sun, which has featured topless models on their paper’s third page since 1970. However,…
Brock Visibly Ages Following Suspension
ANN ARBOR–Forward Bob Brock has fallen upon hard times–quickly. No sooner did the league announce his suspension following an altercation in Hopslam’s 3-2 win over Cubs AC Wednesday night than Brock was found with not much more than tattered rags…