Five Bears No Match For Goal-dilocks

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam had a blonde moment– four actually– as they handed a depleted Bears team a 4-1 loss Sunday night on Stadium Ice. “Who’s been scoring in my net?” grumbled an angry and confused Bear whose name shall remain…

Hard to Find Funny in Ruination Loss

ANN ARBOR–Beat writer Mark Woods admitted that “writing funny stuff” is decidedly more difficult following a loss, particularly a bad beat, as was the case Thursday night following Ruination’s 3-10 defeat at the hands of the Ypsi Aces. “What can…

No Body Wash For Old Men, Hopslam

ANN ARBOR–Center Ricky Winowiecki, after scoring 2 goals and dishing out 2 assists in Hopslam’s 7-3 win over the Leafs Wednesday night, has allegedly discovered the source of “old man smell.” After some speculation– including Old Spice, Brut, or a…

Movie-Rating Career Ends in Tragedy

ANN ARBOR–Winger John Vella’s career as a movie critic came to crashing halt following a thumb injury early in the third period of Ruination’s 8-4 victory over Thompson’s Pizza Monday night. “In this biz, being all thumbs is an advantage,”…