TUSCALOOSA– Noticeably absent from the scoring sheet, forward Bob Brock has been moonlighting as a college quarterback, shedding several years and several pounds in the process, according to sources. Under the guise of “AJ McCarron,” Brock has guided his team,…
Six Pistols Rock Mott
ANN ARBOR– Ricky Winowiecki may have the distinction of starting the first and largest Insane Clown Posse fan site, but Saturday he was rocking Mott’s world with two goals and only five other skaters as Ruination won 4-2 to end…
Sebelius Hired as Scapegoat for ‘Tinus Ties?
WASHINGTON– Ashley’s officials announced late Wednesday following Aventinus’s third tie in four games that embattled Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius has been hired in as the new team manager, working for the last several weeks while moonlighting on…
Cubs Bear-ly Skate, Hopslam Beer-ly Skates
ANN ARBOR– Hopslam dominated an aging Cubs AC team late Tuesday night to claw its way above .500 with a 7-1 win. Scott Coates and Ricky Winowiecki each had two goals, while Chris Sutton added a goal and four assists…
‘Houston, We Have a Problem:’ Oilers Blanked
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination moved to 11-2 Tuesday night after sliding past the Oilers 10-0, earning goaltender Rusty Barron’s second shutout of the season. “I think we tried very hard not to be overconfident,” said astronaut Neil Armstrong, mission commander…
Good Bad Ugly Tie with Leafs
ANDALUCIA– Tom “Blondie” Colis, sometimes known as the Man with No Name Other Than Tom, was quick on the draw, good for the assist, and kept the Leafs in line with his soft-spoken brand of cowboy justice as Aventinus came back…