Ashley’s Aventinus (6-2-3) had their seven-game unbeaten streak snapped Sunday night, losing to Mott D2 2-4 in a game that slowly slipped away. Mott winger Andy Meyer broke through the defense mid-way through the first period to give Mott the…
Ruination Hotbed of Political Cover-ups
Ashley’s Ruination (5-4) took control of the third period to beat a surprisingly resilient Thompson’s Pizza Saturday night 5-2. Defenseman Jason Spence had two goals, including the game-winner, while Paul Sholtis had a goal and an assist. Jon Molnar, longtime…
Evil Plot to Dismantle Hopslam Complete
MUNICH– Bavarian Motor Works CEO Heinz Getwellvet (pronounced Gish-vel vet) has achieved his objective: dismantle Ashley’s Hopslam. Following Hopslam’s 1-4 loss to rival Yaks Saturday night– a loss that did not include dynamic duo Matt Schaefer and Shawn Lopez– it…
Lab Chimps Hostage Standoff Enters Third Day
ANN ARBOR– Sources close to the scene state that laboratory chimpanzees at the University of Michigan Medical Center have reportedly escaped from their cages and are currently holding lab manager Joseph Crossno hostage. In a very clipped message, Crossno communicated…
Full House Hopslam Get Two Pair
Ashley’s Hopslam (7-3) won its fourth straight game, defeating a frustrated Depot Town Stags 4-0 Tuesday. Wingers Matt Schaefer and Mike Leighton each scored two goals, while Shawn Lopez gathered three assists, leading the team with ten for the season.…
Nothing Fishy About Aventinus Win
Ashley’s Aventinus (6-1-2) extended its unbeaten streak to six games, beating Barracuda 5-2 Sunday night with three power play goals, a natural hattrick from Jeff Phillion, and a whole lot of assists from Joe Crossno (3) and Chris Boulter (2).…