ANN ARBOR– The Millennial Generation proved overwhelming in Ruination’s disastrous decision to invite friends to come play in Tuesday night’s game against the Yaks C. “Once you factor in the so-called friends from Facebook, professional connections on LinkedIn, and any…
Aventinus Scraps Ad Campaign
SUNDAY– Aventinus officials following the team’s 6-0 win Sunday night over the Killer Bees stated the franchise would forego its forthcoming ad campaign proclaiming declaring “There must be somethin’ in the water!” The phrase allegedly caught on as a social…
Championship Cup Placed on Display for All to Behold
ANN ARBOR– Following its long and winding journey, the Lord Cowell’s Cup (affectionately known as the Ann Abe-or Trophy) returned to its place in Ashley’s Ruination’s hallowed halls after a thrilling 5-4 win in the C-League Championships. “It’s been a full…
Miss Colombia Mistakenly Named D2 Champion
LAS VEGAS– Following a turbulent and competitive match, Miss Colombia was mistakenly named the D2 Champion Sunday night following an earlier mishap in the Miss Universe Pageant. “I no win?” asked Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez. “Please don’t hold this against…
Ruination Exposed for Creating Fake Roster!
ANN ARBOR– Fraud charges may be levied against Ashley’s Ruination after officials determined that several players “do not, in fact, actually exist,” said sources following the team’s 3-5 loss Saturday in the C-league championship series. “I’m just as shocked as…
Aventinus: One (or Two) and Done!
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus and Mott FK wait for the announcement Friday that will determine if the their championship showdown is a one-game championship Sunday or a best-of-three series, sources report. “This is so exciting,” noted GM Sal Castic. “In…