ANN ARBOR–A tense battle between Ashley’s Ruination and Thompson’s Pizza Tuesday night resulted in a 4-1 win for Ruination, complaints over heretofore unknown referee Fred Molnar, and a spearing incident resulting a match penalty for Thompson’s Erik Longen, a last…
Goal Diggers Blasted: “Culturally Insensitive”
ANN ARBOR– Media attention focused on the Goal Diggers Sunday following their 3-2 win over Ashey’s Aventinus as their name continues to draw outrage from minority hockey groups across the Great Lakes states and much of Canada. “It’s like a…
Hopslam Pooped Out Versus Steamers
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam players expressed fatigue following their 4-7 loss to the Cleveland Steamers Saturday night. “We were just pooped,” said defenseman Mark Woods. Hopslam started slowly as the Steamers quickly dropped 3 pucks into the net in the…
Ben Johnson Edges Carl Lewis to Join Ruination
ANN ARBOR– According to the stat sheet, it seems former Canadian Olympic sprinter Ben Johnson has joined Ashley’s Ruination, edging out Carl Lewis’ bid to bring Olympic gold to the perennial C-league champions. Johnson, who was part of an illegal…
Witt Drinks, Shoots, Leafs
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus made one of its better showings, but fell to the Leafs 3-6 Wednesday night, disproving the growing belief that winger Gary Witt’s presence correlates with winning.”There goes that theory!” a teammate said over the din of…
Hopslam Votes “No” On Referendum
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam voted against independence Wednesday, following their Tuesday night win over St. Anky Beer. In a 4-3 vote, the team decided to remain a part of Ashley’s franchise, along with Ruination, Aventinus, and Bud Light Lime, the…