RUINATION– Following their thrilling 5-5 tie with Yaks B of the B2 League Monday night, GM Mark Woods announced that forward Shawn Lopez will be named the franchise player for the new Ashley’s Bud Light Lime team. “After scoring two…
Deer Hunter Saved By Hockey
SCIO TOWNSHIP– Call it another Sunday of deer hunting with a Hyundai (known as bow and light weapons season), but the events of Sunday night turned dangerous for avid sportsman Dave Ferguson just prior to Aventinus’s 2-1 win over the…
Players Misunderstand Comment
ANN ARBOR– Following the 1-2 loss Wednesday night, several Aventinus players reportedly misunderstood comments made by defenseman Mark Woods when he noticed his skate chassis had broken. “My chassis broke,” he noted, looking at the shattered plastic piece that holds…
Feelings Less Than Mutual Over Omaha Incident
ANN ARBOR– Feelings were mixed Tuesday when the Ann Arbor Ice Cube announced that the league would receive sponsorship from insurance giant Mutual of Omaha. As a goodwill gesture, former Nebraska-Omaha player John Thomas played in what he believed was a…
Payeur’s Secret Life as Hipster Revealed!
ANN ARBOR– Despite vehement denials to being a “coffee-house hipster,” defenseman Sean Payeur was spotted at the very trendy Babo Market on Washington Street in downtown Ann Arbor following Ruination’s 9-1 win over Black Ops Tuesday night. Despite his gruff exterior,…
Ashley’s Hockey Writer Clearly Getting Lazier
HOPSLAM– Hopslam defeated the first place Ice Men 5-2 Saturday night, thanks in large part to the off-speed shot from Mark Woods mid-way through the first period. “I really knocked the crap out of that one,” said Woods. The shot…