DEARBORN– Controversy ensued following Hopslam’s 7-3 win over the heretofore unbeaten Yaks Tuesday night when defenseman Keith Kotimko’s “Black Book of Slights” was discovered near his home in Dearborn. “We’re trying to keep positive,” said GM Mark Woods, “But a…
Coke Machine Fed Nickels, Aventinus
AUBURN HILLS– Every good news story requires the proper fuel: drama, pathos, and a Coke. All three were provided Monday following Aventinus’s comfortable 5-1 win over the Yaks 2, but curiously not from the game. While preparing to report the…
Future Jordan Swift to Self: “Score the Hat Trick!”
ANN ARBOR– Thanks to recent developments in the philosophy of time and space-time, specifically work done with “worm-holes,” Future Jordan Swift had an opportunity to come to the “present” and warn himself not to pass on the opportunity to score…
Subaru Forrester Front Runner; Hopslam Wins
TOLEDO– While Hopslam battled the Ice Men to a 4-1 victory, a far tougher battle took place Saturday evening just across the border. “I’m not sure which one is best,” said a concerned Ginny Klinesteker. Klinesteker was referring to the…
Goalie Out to Brunch
ANN ARBOR– Have you seen this goalie? Chances are if you watched the first half of the first period or about ten minutes of the second period, you might have had to say ‘no’ as goaltender Jeff Phillion battled time…
Payeur Hands Out Dating Advice
ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination followed their 7-2 win over Trend Millwork Tuesday night with relationship and dating advice from defenseman and noted “love guru” Sean Payeur. “We all enjoy listening to Sean’s show,” said defenseman Mark Woods. “It’s like listening…