Roklen Rolls Out

RUINATION– Management announced Tuesday following Ruination’s 6-1 win over the Black Bears that forward Jon Roklen was traded to the Boston Bruins (short for Bruination, or affectionately the Brewin’ Nation for their love of craft beers). “This is my last…

Goalie Apocalypse Gorham’s Gain

ANN ARBOR– Triumph over tragedy occurred Tuesday night after it was discovered that an “apocalyptic dearth” of goalies led to Steve Gorham’s unlikely rise to super beer league stardom, as Ashley’s Hopslam defeated the Ice-o-topes 2-1 in hard fought game.…

What in Blazers?

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination pulled off the improbable– winning not only against a B-League A2 Blazers 6-4 Monday night, but winning with only six skaters. Brian Lefevre had three goals, while Dexter Benda added two and an assist. Jordan Swift…

Girl Season Opens, Aventinus Wins

ANN ARBOR– The debate over which hunting season officially began this Fall was quickly resolved Sunday night following Aventinus’s 4-2 win over the Goaldiggers: Girl season. According to sources, girl season opened sometime in mid-October. “This explains why (winger) Nate Greenman…

Payeur Gets “White Girl Wasted”

ANN ARBOR– Warning teammates that  he may miss the game, defenseman Sean Payeur made good on his promise to get “white girl wasted” Saturday night, missing out on a 11-0 Ruination win over Mott. “It’s seeming like it could be…