AVENTINUS– The 0-2 loss to the Ice-o-topes D2 left a bitter taste in the mouth of defenseman Mark Woods until he discovered that the origin of that taste was actually that of Brussel sprouts. He was also surprised to discover…
Loss the Result of a No Brainer
RUINATION– Ashley’s Ruination suffered its first loss of the season, falling 2-3 to the Black Bears Saturday night. Dexter Benda scored both goals for Ruination, but it proved to be not quite enough, as the Black Bears scored with just 0:10…
Statistical Accuracy, Caring Not High On Priority List
HOPSLAM–Ashley’s Hopslam scored like a million billion goals Saturday night, totally beating up the Ice-o-topes, as reported by MillennialStat, the new start-up company responsible for providing statistical analysis for the Ann Arbor Ice Cube leagues. The company’s policy trends toward hiring…
Writer Hopes No One Looks Up Stuff on Urban Dictionary.com
RUINATION– Ashley’s Ruination pushed its record to 10-0-1 Tuesday with a 6-2 win over Thompson’s Pizza. Ricky Winowiecki, Tim Bredernitz, and Jordan Swift each had two goals for the game: impress the ladies, and never let them see you sweat.…
Ashley’s Weak-end Report
HOPSLAM– In the 1-2 loss Saturday to St. Anky Beer, Hopslam forward Bob Brock told reporters that he tweaked his groin, prompting GM Mark Woods to say, “Hey, this is a family place. Do that in the privacy of your bathroom.”…
Ms. Communication Key to Good Play
ANN ARBOR– Coach Mary Communication noted that understanding concepts was “key” to Aventinus’ 6-1 win over Mott FK Wednesday night. “It won’t do any good to have mis-communication from Ms. Communication,” said the coach, probably for the ten-thousandth time judging…